<<<  Shy Boy

I was pretty shy and introverted and prone to telling stories.  It started
when I was around seven years old.  Those early stories were drawn - like
the early cave drawings - consisting of stick figures with a dotted line
connecting the action.  Graduated from drawing on paper to creating
"animated" stories in the margins of my mother's paperbacks.  The kind
where each page held a different movement so that when you flipped
through the pages, it appeared to move forward.  I entertained myself and
my siblings quite effectively with them...until mother discovered that I was
defacing her books.  Whoo boy, did I get trouble for that.  

But it didn't stop me.  

Instead, with the allowance I made from my paper route, I evolved to
defacing my own books.  And schoolbooks.  Anything was fair game, as
long as I could writing on it with my pencil.  
<<<  Senior Prom 1979

For senior prom, I asked our class president and long-time dance partner
Cindy Rice as my date.  She was a truly kindhearted and generous young
woman, and we had a great time.  She'd been my dance partner all
through high school, and we won several regional dance competitions
together.  

Yes, disco was huge then, and I embraced it as a means of expression.  
Though my older brother had always been interested in music, playing
electric guitar and introducing me to bands like Nazareth, Deep Purple,
Harry Nilsson, Black Sabbath, and many other rebellious bands.  My
biological father was heavily into Henry Mancini, Crystal Gayle,
Mantovani, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and music like that.  So I
grew into having quite the disparate musical tastes of my own, which led
to a deep fascination with dance music that began with disco.  

That it was the antithesis to the heavier (and some say "satanic") rock
music of the '70s was even better.  Having always seen myself as an
outsider, it was a perfect way to express myself.  By this time, I had
already left my mother's house in the spirit of my own survival, for I had
a tumultuous relationship with my stepfather (and my mother) in that he
was an uneducated man, and always accused me of speaking over his
head.  

As an accelerated student, I didn't know one could be discriminated
against for being "too smart" for the adults around me.  It was very
eye-opening in that I learned that adults - who I was taught to revere -
were certainly more fallible than the children they were in charge of.  
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>>>>
<<< Childhood Home

The modest home I grew up in still stands on a rural gravel road in Lake
Orion, Michigan...or at least it did in 2001.  More of a shanty, it had several
architectural quirks that were quite endearing.  The chimney rose up
through the floor in the middle of the hallway.  There was a secret
trapdoor cut into the wood floor in that same hallway that led to the dirt
crawlspace beneath the house and was the focus of many creepy fantasies I
had.  Yes, I made up stories even then.  It was my way of escaping the
psychological, emotional, and physical abuse doled out to us by our
mother and stepfather.  

I still don't know how all us kids, adults, dogs, cats, ducks, and other
assorted animals ever survived in such a small place.  But we did, if only
barely.
PHOTO ESSAY PT. 1
<<< High School Graduation 1979

Because of the less-than-optimal relationship with my birth parents, they
refused to attend my graduation, perhaps intelligence over them.  Yes, I
graduated at the top of my class, making my name in "Who's Who
Among American High School Students."  Here I am, pictured with my
maternal grandparents, Ann and Paul, who supported me emotionally
through the difficult times with my family.  

My grandfather passed on February 6, 2006, after a long bout with
Alzheimer's.  By that time, I had already distanced myself from the entire
dysfunctional family, having learned that there was just no way to
reconcile with their ways of thinking and behaving.  A week after
graduation, I fled for San Diego, a destination I wouldn't reach for several
years.  
<<< 1968 Buick Skylark
I purchased a brand new Pontiac Sunbird Special Edition in 1979, but
quickly learned that I dreamed way above my means.  payments, giving
me my stepmother's car in exchange.  With everything I owned piled into
the back seat and trunk, I set off on my own, scared of the unknown
stretching out before me, but feeling truly FREE for the first time in my
life.  I had a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of soul-searching that
would happen both willingly and unwillingly along the way.
Just outside of Grand Island, Nebraska, the exhaust system fell out of the
Buick.  It was an intensive lesson in learning to watch for "signs" that
something much bigger than myself was in charge, for because of that, I
was forced to sleep on the side of tornado decimated Grand Island, killing
150 people.  I might've been one of the victims had I made it there.  

The next morning, I walked through the wreckage, finding an auto shop
that had been spared.  They towed my decrepit
car and took every last
penny I had to replace the exhaust system, which had fallen out onto the
side of the highway.

<<< First Glimpse of Colorado

Two days later, exhausted, starved, but thankful to be alive, I crossed the
border into Colorado.  I broke down and cried when I first glimpsed the
astounding Rocky Mountains.  As I crossed the Boulder city line, the
Buick acquired two flat tires.  Penniless, I was forced to locate friends of
the family who lived there.  They took me in and gave me a place to stay.  


There's a phenomena called "
Chief Niwot's Curse" which states:

"People seeing the beauty of this valley will want to stay, and their staying
will be the undoing of the beauty."

I fell in love with Boulder though I maintained a dream to relocate to San
Diego.  It would be years before I made it to the west coast.  
Circumstances in Boulder dictated that I stay at least long enough to make
money.  Little did I know what my future held.  


<<< Boulder, Colorado

Through the people I stayed with, I obtained documents that stated I was
several years older than I actually was, which allowed me to get a job as a
barback at a local dance club.  At the same time, I stumbled across a gym
in town where I decided I could grow out of the awkward geek I was.  I
was tired of being seen and treated as a naive kid, and knew that changing
my outward appearance would go a long way to changing the way people
treated me.  Was I naive?  Absolutely, but it was a means by which many
took advantage, and I didn't want to be "that person" any longer.  And it
was in this health club that I found something called "aerobics" that would
again take me on a fascinating journey through life.  


So began what I call my "loss of innocence" phase.  I began working out
obsessively, while learning a lot about the world working nights at the
dance club.  One of the DJ's took me under his wing and began teaching
me the skills that would benefit me for the next twenty years.  It would
also introduce me to a lifestyle of hedonism and vice that nearly became
my undoing over the next two decades.  

Leaving the introverted kid behind, I embraced this new and exciting
world.  Right up until the point where I died.

<<< Outside of Estes Park, Colorado
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