- Speculative Fiction
- Historical Fantasy
- Urban Fantasy
- Supernatural Thriller
- Mainstream Thriller
- Mainstream Fiction
| author + mentor + coach |
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*Website Disclaimer**
Under this license you may:
(1) visit the Website only in a single astral body at a time.
(2) make one copy of the Website in crayon, provided that such copy of the original may be used solely for refrigerator decoration and is initialed
by a qualified 8 year-old. The Website is protected by copyright law, and complies with the provisions of Chief Niwot's Curse. As an express
condition of this License, you must reproduce on each copy the Orion/Media's copyright notice and image of the Magic Pie.
(3) transfer the Website and its proprietors and all their friends and
relations to another party together with a copy of this License and all necessary supplies and provisions, provided you give Orion/Media your
undying love and the other party reads this License and agrees to adopt the whole kit and caboodle in lieu of his/her own kith and kin.
*Restrictions*
You may NOT telepathically or genetically distribute copies of the Website to others or transfer Website contains arcane conceptual idiosyncrasies
and to protect them you may NOT reduce the Website to a human perceivable form.
YOU MAY NOT MODIFY, ADAPT, TRANSLATE, RENT, LEASE, LOAN,
RESELL FOR PROFIT, DISTRIBUTE, NETWORK, OR CREATE DERIVATIVE WORKS BASED UPON THE WEBSITE OR THE UNIQUE
GENETIC SEQUENCES OF ITS CREATORS OR YOU WILL UNLEASH MYSTERIOUS FORCES OUTSIDE THE HUMAN KEN.
Do not operate heavy machinery or choose a sexual partner while viewing the Website. You may NOT send any money for the product because
there isn't really what you could call a product, as such. There is only the Website. Please wash your hands before visiting the Website and keep
your hands on the keyboard, where we can see them.
*Termination*
This License shall remain in effect until you are too old and bitter to care. This License will terminate in a puff of bluish smoke if you fail to
comply with any provision of good taste and irreproachable decorum. Upon termination you must destroy the hopes and dreams of all those
dearest to you.
*Disclaimer*
Warranty Disclaimer, Limitation of Remedies and Damages:
The Website will perform substantially in accordance with what you'd expect from something that's absolutely free. If, within ninety (90) days
after your visit, the Website fails to do so, then Orion/Media and its affiliates invoke the provisions of the Tough Casabes Act.
We do not warrant that the Website will appeal to your very peculiar tastes or that the operation of the Website will be uninterrupted bliss. You
assume responsibility
for the selection of the Website to achieve your intended results and for whatever gets you through the night. Although changes or improvements
to the Website may be made, who the Hell cares? Orion/Media is under no obligation to provide diddly. The Website should be used only with
computers.
You must stand up, and read the FOLLOWING aloud, at the top of your lungs:
*Complete Statement of Warranty*
THE LIMITED WARRANTIES PROVIDED ABOVE ARE THE ONLY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND THAT ARE MADE BY ORION/MEDIA ON
THE WEBSITE, AND THEY'RE NOT WORTH THE PAPER THEY'RE NOT PRINTED ON. NO ORAL OR WRITTEN INFORMATION OR ADVICE
GIVEN BY ORION/MEDIA, ITS HANGERS-ON, ITS PARAMOURS, OR
THOSE WHO MERELY WORSHIP FROM AFAR SHALL CREATE A WARRANTY OR ANYTHING SORTA LIKE A WARRANTY, AND YOU MAY
NOT RELY ON ANY SUCH INFORMATION OR ADVICE, EXCEPT MAYBE THIS PARTICULAR ADVICE, WE'RE NOT SAYING. THIS
WARRANTY GIVES YOU SPECIFIC LEGAL RIGHTS IN THIS SOLAR SYSTEM. YOU MAY HAVE CONJUGAL RIGHTS, WHICH VARY
BETWEEN MARITAL STATES AND FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTIONS.
*Limitation of Liability*
IN NO EVENT WILL ORION/MEDIA, OR ITS DEVELOPERS, DIRECTORS, OFFICERS, EMPLOYEES, CONCUBINES OR CAMP FOLLOWERS
BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, OR INDIRECT DAMAGES (INCLUDING DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF
COURAGE, COITAL INTERRUPTION, LOSS OF ERECTION, AND THE LIKE) ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE
WEBSITE OR SPECIFIC PARTS OF YOUR ANATOMY EVEN IF ORION/MEDIA OR AN AUTHORIZED
REPRESENTATIVE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. BECAUSE SOME STATES IN AMERICA DO NOT
ALLOW MARRIAGE BETWEEN FIRST COUSINS, THE ABOVE LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
*U.S. GOVERNMENT RESTRICTED USE PROVISIONS*
If this Website is acquired by or on behalf of a unit or agency of the United States Government, we will laugh ourselves silly.
*GENERAL*
You acknowledge that there is nothing on television bad enough to make you read this agreement all the way through, understand it's a
Complete Crock and that it is the complete and exclusive Load of Total Bull which supersedes any prior Load of Bull, oral or written, and any
other communications between Orion/Media and you relating to the subject of this agreement, and indeed, any communications whatsoever since
the Big Bang, and that your obligations under this agreement are grave indeed, and no fit subject for sophomoric japes. No variation of the terms
of agreement or endearment let alone intimate physical contact is permitted unless Orion/Media gives its express consent in writing
countersigned by a licensed physician and you are willing to be friends first.
Under this license you may:
(1) visit the Website only in a single astral body at a time.
(2) make one copy of the Website in crayon, provided that such copy of the original may be used solely for refrigerator decoration and is initialed
by a qualified 8 year-old. The Website is protected by copyright law, and complies with the provisions of Chief Niwot's Curse. As an express
condition of this License, you must reproduce on each copy the Orion/Media's copyright notice and image of the Magic Pie.
(3) transfer the Website and its proprietors and all their friends and
relations to another party together with a copy of this License and all necessary supplies and provisions, provided you give Orion/Media your
undying love and the other party reads this License and agrees to adopt the whole kit and caboodle in lieu of his/her own kith and kin.
*Restrictions*
You may NOT telepathically or genetically distribute copies of the Website to others or transfer Website contains arcane conceptual idiosyncrasies
and to protect them you may NOT reduce the Website to a human perceivable form.
YOU MAY NOT MODIFY, ADAPT, TRANSLATE, RENT, LEASE, LOAN,
RESELL FOR PROFIT, DISTRIBUTE, NETWORK, OR CREATE DERIVATIVE WORKS BASED UPON THE WEBSITE OR THE UNIQUE
GENETIC SEQUENCES OF ITS CREATORS OR YOU WILL UNLEASH MYSTERIOUS FORCES OUTSIDE THE HUMAN KEN.
Do not operate heavy machinery or choose a sexual partner while viewing the Website. You may NOT send any money for the product because
there isn't really what you could call a product, as such. There is only the Website. Please wash your hands before visiting the Website and keep
your hands on the keyboard, where we can see them.
*Termination*
This License shall remain in effect until you are too old and bitter to care. This License will terminate in a puff of bluish smoke if you fail to
comply with any provision of good taste and irreproachable decorum. Upon termination you must destroy the hopes and dreams of all those
dearest to you.
*Disclaimer*
Warranty Disclaimer, Limitation of Remedies and Damages:
The Website will perform substantially in accordance with what you'd expect from something that's absolutely free. If, within ninety (90) days
after your visit, the Website fails to do so, then Orion/Media and its affiliates invoke the provisions of the Tough Casabes Act.
We do not warrant that the Website will appeal to your very peculiar tastes or that the operation of the Website will be uninterrupted bliss. You
assume responsibility
for the selection of the Website to achieve your intended results and for whatever gets you through the night. Although changes or improvements
to the Website may be made, who the Hell cares? Orion/Media is under no obligation to provide diddly. The Website should be used only with
computers.
You must stand up, and read the FOLLOWING aloud, at the top of your lungs:
*Complete Statement of Warranty*
THE LIMITED WARRANTIES PROVIDED ABOVE ARE THE ONLY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND THAT ARE MADE BY ORION/MEDIA ON
THE WEBSITE, AND THEY'RE NOT WORTH THE PAPER THEY'RE NOT PRINTED ON. NO ORAL OR WRITTEN INFORMATION OR ADVICE
GIVEN BY ORION/MEDIA, ITS HANGERS-ON, ITS PARAMOURS, OR
THOSE WHO MERELY WORSHIP FROM AFAR SHALL CREATE A WARRANTY OR ANYTHING SORTA LIKE A WARRANTY, AND YOU MAY
NOT RELY ON ANY SUCH INFORMATION OR ADVICE, EXCEPT MAYBE THIS PARTICULAR ADVICE, WE'RE NOT SAYING. THIS
WARRANTY GIVES YOU SPECIFIC LEGAL RIGHTS IN THIS SOLAR SYSTEM. YOU MAY HAVE CONJUGAL RIGHTS, WHICH VARY
BETWEEN MARITAL STATES AND FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTIONS.
*Limitation of Liability*
IN NO EVENT WILL ORION/MEDIA, OR ITS DEVELOPERS, DIRECTORS, OFFICERS, EMPLOYEES, CONCUBINES OR CAMP FOLLOWERS
BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, OR INDIRECT DAMAGES (INCLUDING DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF
COURAGE, COITAL INTERRUPTION, LOSS OF ERECTION, AND THE LIKE) ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE
WEBSITE OR SPECIFIC PARTS OF YOUR ANATOMY EVEN IF ORION/MEDIA OR AN AUTHORIZED
REPRESENTATIVE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. BECAUSE SOME STATES IN AMERICA DO NOT
ALLOW MARRIAGE BETWEEN FIRST COUSINS, THE ABOVE LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
*U.S. GOVERNMENT RESTRICTED USE PROVISIONS*
If this Website is acquired by or on behalf of a unit or agency of the United States Government, we will laugh ourselves silly.
*GENERAL*
You acknowledge that there is nothing on television bad enough to make you read this agreement all the way through, understand it's a
Complete Crock and that it is the complete and exclusive Load of Total Bull which supersedes any prior Load of Bull, oral or written, and any
other communications between Orion/Media and you relating to the subject of this agreement, and indeed, any communications whatsoever since
the Big Bang, and that your obligations under this agreement are grave indeed, and no fit subject for sophomoric japes. No variation of the terms
of agreement or endearment let alone intimate physical contact is permitted unless Orion/Media gives its express consent in writing
countersigned by a licensed physician and you are willing to be friends first.
